Inside the Blogger's Studio...

Hello, I'm your host James Lipton. When one talks about greatness, it is crucial that they use superlatives. Tonight, our guest is an esteemed writer whose claim to fame would be his use of superlatives. He was a successful columnist for ESPN.com before joining the blogging community in 2006. He currently writes about being a first time father and all the joy that comes with it. He has even taken the time to write a screenplay! Yes, this man has done it all. Which is why he has been given the title of BEST. BLOGGER. EVER. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Dan Shanoff!(audience applause)

James: It's great to have you here, Mr. Shanoff.
Dan: "Please...it's Dan. And I'm flattered you asked me to be part of this interview."

James: First and foremost, Dan, you've landed a #1 seed in the Ladies...Hotty Bracket. Do you see yourself taking this deep into June or should we expect a Kansasian flame-out?
Dan: "Kansasian, no question. Bloggers love the underdogs. Who loves a 1-seed?"

James: Billy Donovan: World's greatest coach or world's greatest human?
Dan: "World's. Greatest. Hairline."

James: Can I see your Florida championship rings?
Dan: "Would you settle for the replica glass football trophy or my actual piece of the Georgia Dome floor?"
James: Yes!

James: When you go back to Northwestern for reunions, do you tell people that you are kind of a big deal? And how do they handle the fact that you are now a die hard Gators "fan?"
Dan: "They only loved me when I was writing for ESPN.com. Hey, why did you put 'fan' in quotes?"
James: Well, not everyone can marry into being the fan of a championship team, or teams in your case.

James: For the young men and women whose parents keep busting their balls to go back to school and get masters degrees, are you employed yet? Basically, when can they stop using the "Well, Dan Shanoff went to Harvard for grad school and he is unemployed. At least we have jobs!" excuse?
Dan: "I feel like I bring more value as a figure of schadenfreude than as a business executive."
James: HAHA! I have no idea what the means but you sir are a deeeeelight!

James: You mentioned in a blog post that Dayton should not be the host of the NCAA play-in game. Since this is partially a Dayton Flyers blog, may I ask, "What the hell was that about, man?"
Dan: "It was no knock on Dayton. It was a proclamation of the greatness of the play-in game, a game that deserves a way bigger stage... how can you argue with, say, Las Vegas?"
James: But have you seen seen Dayton in early March? Gorgeous!

James: I appreciate your love for documentaries, but can you please explain how "Spellbound" is a sports documentary?
Dan: "Competitive ANYTHING can qualify as a sports documentary!"

James: Speaking of movies, since I have enjoyed your work since the early Daily Quickie years, can I get some speaking parts in your upcoming film? Did I mention that I can dunk on an 8-foot rim?
Dan: "As it is currently written, my screenplay has a huge opportunity for all of my sports-blogosphere comrades to play extras. Especially if I keep the play-in game in Dayton."

James: Will you make a shirt for me like you did for Wizznutzz?
Dan: "Does Dayton have an all-time great starting five to list? Or should it just say: 'Anthony Grant & Anthony Grant & Anthony Grant & Anthony Grant & Anthony Grant?'"
James: Good point.

James: Can you name a few of your favorite lesser known blogs?
Dan: "But I'm contractually obligated to only pander to blogs in the Top 50 on Ballhype."

James: Who are your top five current athletes? And please keep in mind that Joakim Noah to the 5th power doesn't count.
Dan: "Gilbert Arenas, Tim Tebow, Corey Brewer/Al Horford (tie), and any Jewish athlete."

James: How will you spend your second Father's Day?
Dan: "Hopefully, remembering it. Last year I was one month into fatherhood and I don't think I appropriately recognized what was going on. "

James: And we are now going to begin our classroom session with the questionnaire made famous by Bernard Pivot...what is your favorite word?
Dan: Right at this moment? 'Dada.'
James: What is your least favorite word?
Dan: "Anything misspelled."
James: What turns you on creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?
Dan: "Cleverness...in any of its forms."
James: What turns you off?
Dan: "Unrealized potential."
James: What is your favorite curse word?
Dan: "Fudge! (I'm trying to ween myself off the F-word)"
James: What sound or noise do you love?
Dan: "My kid's laughter."
James: What sound or noise do you hate?
Dan: "The clock alarm in the morning."
James: What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Dan: "Venture capitalist."
James: What profession would you not like to do?
Dan: "Anything that lacks even a smidgen of impact."
James: If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Dan: "Your family is fine."

Ladies and gentlemen...Dan Shanoff!
Dan: "Again, I'm flattered you asked me to be interviewed."

See you all next time!

The Flyers Fieldhouse gang appreciates Dan Shanoff for taking the time to participate in this ludicrous excuse for an interview. Thanks again, Dan.