- Why don't the Cavs trade Damon Jones, Eric Snow, Ira Newble and Donyell Marshall for Kevin Garnett?
- Brady Quinn is the greatest quarterback since sliced bread was the norm. (They are ignoring/repressing his career-long struggles against actual, you know, football teams.)
- Why did the Indians get rid of Manny Ramirez and Kenny Lofton, despite the fact that the former's salary is upwards of 36x the entire payroll of the entire team here in Cleveland (and I'm probably being modest about the 36x thing).
The city of Cleveland always loves the crowd favorites that leave too early for one reason or another (cough, salary, cough, the Jew family known as the Dolans, cough), so there have been murmurings amongst the half-tards that the Tribe should bring back Lofton pretty much every year.
Guess what? It finally makes sense to do it!
What did the Tribe give up? Basically nothing. A class A catcher from the Bob Wickman trade last season. Oh, and that catcher was hitting .303 in Kinston this season. Mr. Lofton? Only hitting the same .303 with the added bonus of being an actual major league baseball player. So we gave up a promising young catcher...whoop de freakin' da. We've got two starting right now in Cleveland.
What did the Tribe give up? Basically nothing. A class A catcher from the Bob Wickman trade last season. Oh, and that catcher was hitting .303 in Kinston this season. Mr. Lofton? Only hitting the same .303 with the added bonus of being an actual major league baseball player. So we gave up a promising young catcher...whoop de freakin' da. We've got two starting right now in Cleveland.
Lofton's already an upgrade to any outfielder on the Tribe that would not be able to utilize the nickname 'Sizzlemore' or 'Man Candy' to the ladies in Cleveland without getting hit in the face. Stick him in the corner and don't worry about Trot Nixon or Jason Michaels not being able to get to a ball down the line because of lead shoes. The .300ish batting average is an added bonus.
So yes, there are many reasons to like this trade, and I am f'n jazzed that Mr. 3.1 Seconds to First himself is back in C-town. So f'n jazzed that I use phrases like 'f'n jazzed'. I'm so excited, I'll even bust out the immortal words of The Boondockmen:
They packed the house at Jacob's Field
Night after night cuz the wounds have healed
Livin' atop the Central Division
Our eyes enjoy this graaaaand vision
The Tribe's alive
The bell is ringin'
And all I can hear is the people singin'
Swing batter batter
Swing batter batter swing
Swing batter batter
Swing batter batter swing
(Editor's note: The Boondockmen were the 'rap' group that penned the hit single 'Swing Batter Swing' that was all the rage on Jammin 92.3 in Cleveland with Big Dave and Action Jackson on the 'Big Nine at Nine'. Google does not recognize The Boondockmen. What a shame. That song was wayyyyy better than 'Mambo #5'.)
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7 comments:
The Jew family known as the Dolans?
Is it hard to type while wearing your Klan robe?
Was it a cheap shot? Sure. But that's just the type of shot the Dolan's and their fellow Jews would appreciate. Cheap.
And if I'm wearing a Klan robe because of that comment, than anyone that's ever written a decent joke for a TV show or movie is my area's Imperial Wizard.
Matt, is it hard to type with both fists firmly planted in your ass?
Why would Minnesota want to make that trade?
Because there's a sizeable group of Cleveland fans that have little to no sense of reality, and will spend the majority of their days concocting ridiculous deals on the ESPN Trade Machine.
Wait a minute. That DOES make sense!!! Jones, Newble, D-Marsh, and E-Snow for KG...that makes sense for both teams.
The Cavs need a #2 for Bron Bron and the T-Wolves need to cement themselves into the pantheon of Worst Run Franchises Ever.
Let's make this happen today. FYI, Dolan may or may not be Jewish, but he grips his man purse just like the stereotype.
While I do not have an opinion one way or another regarding the Dolan family, they are about as Irish Catholic as it gets, and anyone that actually pays attention to the Indians should know that.
There are about three commercials a game on STO that highlight the Dolan's commitment to Cleveland Catholic Charities, as they chairs on this year's committee.
If that doesn't sway you in your opinion of his heritage, Dolan attended both St. Ignatius High School and the University of Notre Dame.
In addition, the new, multi-million dollar science building at John Carroll bears the Dolan name because of their donations.
If I assume correctly that those who write for Flyers Fieldhouse attended the University of Dayton (as did I) and are therefore probably Catholic, perhaps religious banter is not your forte?
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