It's T-minus one week until the Dayton - Xavier game. As all of you know, we've posted a pretty good record playing Xavier in Cincinnati...if you're a fan of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers team that didn't win a football game for an entire season — quite a feat. Kind of like the losing streak the Flyers have going for them in this rivalry game. Christ, the New York Knicks have won three straight games this season, nothing short of a sign of the apocolypse. You would think UD would be able to luck into a win at least once in the past 25+ years of futility. That being said, at 14-2, this is a pretty good team we've got here. And Xavier just got the business from Temple of all schools. And we've got a win against our only common opponent this season (Miami). And we took it to the Big East, knocking off Louisville and Pittsburgh. And we housed a ranked Rhode Island team. This team's only losses are quality losses. So yeah, I'd say this team has as good of a chance to win as any of the previous teams have had.
But in all seriousness...fuck Xavier. Fuck their pleather jacket wearing, face-painted, small arena having, smug pieces of dog shit. I mean seriously. Just go fist yourself Xavier. I don't hate a lot of things (ok, that's a lie), but I fucking hate Xavier. A lot.
Here's a list of things I hate less than Xavier:
-Genocide
-Levees breaking
-Osama Bin Meachem
-Osama Bin Ladin
-When the back bar closes
-Paying cover at Tim's
-Paying cover at Flannagin's
-Smirnoff Ice
-The hype for the Super Bowl
-Skip Bayless
-Fraternities
-That annoying chick at the office that always needs to let you know how "busy she is". So busy that she's taking the time out every day to talk about how busy she is
-Presidential assasinations (that's a no-brainer though...you get a day off)
-The Dayton Daily News coverage of the Flyers
-Phone books (why even make them, you can never fucking find anything in them anyway)
-How those assholes at Flyers Fieldhouse never post anything
-Andres Sandoval
-Shitty Christmas bonuses
-Not being in college anymore
-Bags of dicks
-2girls1cup
-The "Pain Olympics"
-Carlos Mencia
-Dane Cook
-Bill Simmons
-Everyone that works for ESPN except Scott VanPelt, John Anderson, Erin Andrews, Peter Gammons and a couple of other people
-Fred McLeod for replacing Michael Reghi as the Cavs play-by-play guy
-My old job
-Long lines at Chipotle
-Small Chipotle burritos
-Long lines at Wendy's
-How they shrunk the size of the Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger
-How they raised the price of the 99 cent fries
-PETA
-Minorities (kidding...just wanted to see if you were still reading)
-The NCAA clearinghouse
-Whoever injured Flyers Jesus
-UMass
-George Mason
-David West
-Romain Noodle Soup Sato
-Hollywood producers for not getting the writers signed to a new deal yet
-Last call
Keep in mind, this is not an all-inclusive list. Feel free to add things you hate less than Xavier in the comments. Also remember that I still hate all these things, just a little less than Xavier.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
19 comments:
-cough medicine
-That the Moon landing was faked
-people who think 9/11 was masterminded by the government
-That people forget the Patriots cheated
-Soy Milk
-Old people's hands
-Visors
-double poped collars
-When the upped the prices at "The Pub" from 4 dollar pitchers to 5 dollar pitchers
-Guys who drink Cranberry Vodka's
Be careful...Andres Sandoval is going to be playing in the league next year!
I hate when people say "supposebly" and "irregardless."
- Terrance the guy who checked ID's at BW3 on campus. I hated him.
- That creepy old man at the bookstore who had the duck horn.
- Paying $5 to park at a UD game now.
- Snobs from Oakwood.
- The PAC
- Public Safety
- Whoever cancelled UD homecoming.
- Kevin Frey
- The Mannings
- How everyone forgets Brett Favre was hooked on pain pills
- Thad Matta
- Progressive Field
- The Who Dey Cheer
- Anything that has do with the city of Cincinnati.
- John Elway
- People who drive 5 miles under the speed limit.
- Art Modell
- Ray Lewis
- Duke
- The media types who love Duke, yeah I'm talking to you Dickie V.
Seriously fuck people that drive 5 miles per hour under the speed limit. I wholeheartedly agree. If I ever go to prison, it's going to be for involuntary manslaughter after running one of those assholes off the road.
Also, don't forget that Brett Favre was once an alcoholic. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Just saying. Pain killers and alcohol...Brett Favre parties.
Speaking of id checkers, Terrance sounds like...well, what the name of that huge African-American gentleman that checked id's at the Fieldhouse. Apparently he ended up raping dudes and went to jail. Which is what Josh Duncan calls Wednesday nights.
And also, one final fuck you to Oakwood. Um, you're a suburb of Dayton. If you work full-time at Applebees (even as a busboy), you're automatically more wealthy than 95% of the population of the city of Dayton. Even in the dead of winter I like to ride in my car with my shirt off. Oh, and I drive 45 down whatever that road is. Why? Because I'm not terrified of the two cops that work in the city like all you pretentious assvulvas.
Did I also mention that I hate Xavier?
The dude name's at the Fieldhouse is Tim, I believe. That couldn't have been good press for the Fieldhouse....come to the Fieldhouse have a fish bowl and possibly ass raped.
Man I hate Xavier.
and it I remember correctly...Tim was a teacher as well...or in school to become a teacher...something like that
Things I hate less than Xavier
-The Steelers
-Michigan
-Hugh Jackman
-The Hollywood writer's strike
-Waking up back in the day to a ground covered in snow and no FUCKING snow day
-Larry the Cable Guy
-the fact that TWC decides we need TWO FUCKING estrogen channels but not the Big Ten Network
-Myspace
-People not realizing King of the Hill is the second best animated
show ever
-Hulk Hogan
-Vegans
-Cubs fans (just barely)
-Bill Simmons
-Cats
-Stubbing my toe
-Hobos
-Perez Hilton...and anyone else that says "Va-jay-jay"
-Phil Mickelson
-The fact that Asa George from FOX45 isn't naked during broadcasts
-Old women golfers
-Old Men golfers
-Anyone over the age of 75 that didn't participate in the conception of my parents
-Above ground pools
-Pecans
-Mike Brown
-Fallout Boy
-Commercial radio
-Matthew Lesko
-Dustin Hellenga
-The Dream Job midget
-France
-Tighty whiteys
-Fat chicks that wear those Juicy pants
-Hand Sanitizer
Oakwood does have crazy rules like bars allowed, no cutting the grass w/ your shirt off, no fence allowed in the front yard, no parking lot for the HS, etc. etc. All I know is that Oakwood girls are hot...and sluts.
And hating Xavier MORE than Cub/Boston fans is tough to swallow. I don't know if I can go that far. Nothing is that terrible. Except when a case of Natty Light/Beast ventures over $10.
I put my list Here. Love the blog. Go Flyers.
Oakwood also makes it illegal for a trash can to be seen from the street, and to turn around in someone's driveway.
-How all the SGA people get good rooms at Daytona and think they're hot shit with those name badges
-SGA People
-David West
-Tim's regular drink prices
-Arena Flooding
-Flyers not in HD
-Ray Lewis
-Getting kicked out of your own house for holidays, thanks UD admin
-Tims Bouncers
-Sweetest Day
-Segweys and people who ride them
-Thad Matta
-Joe Demayo
-KU food servers
-Bon Jovi
-Dante Jackson
-Getting up after pooping and having to poop right away again
Quick story...one time when I lived on Woodland, Timothy Bates came back to our house after closing the Fieldhouse with a 12 pack and drank it with us before we opened the hills.
No one was raped.
How about my list of hates less than Xavier from my days at Dayton, since I'm no longer there...
- Two hour parking on the Oakwood side of Irving
- UD Parking Services (actually, I may have hated them more than Xavier)
- The fact that Tim's considers itself a "Dance Club"
- Dealing with winter coats at Tim's
- The fact that they opened they broke groung on the RecPlex the summer after I graduated
- Not being in Dayton anymore
@the honks.
Dance club? Tim's is a bar AND grille. Just look at the name!
By excluding Scott VanPelt, John Anderson, Erin Andrews and Peter Gammons from the list of shit you hate less than Xavier, does that mean you hate them MORE than Xavier? Not cool.
--Anyone that watches or participates in American Idol
--people that don't think rape and/or abortions are hilarious topics
--people that post comments as "anonymous"
--Boston
--Ohio State fans
--this might be biggest pet peeve, pompous HD-TV owners. Look, I don't have HD-TV. I've grown to accept that. The last fucking thing I need is for you to come over and immediately talk smack about how my picture sucks. I have a 61 inch TV for fuck's sake. Who gives a damn about whether it's HD or not...it's fucking huge. I get it though, HD is great, but don't make me feel like shit about not having it.
--feline AIDS
--the current 5 game losing streak for my Redhawks
What the hell am I even talking about again?
Funny you should mention feline aids. The running e-mail thread between our group of friends about the Xavier game is titled "Sean Miller has feline aids." It's funny because it's true. It's not funny because feline aids is the number one killer of domestic cats.
My list includes:
-Rangers FC: It's hard because to put them below Xavier. It probably depends on when of my respective teams are playing their hated foe. If I have to deal with pleather red necks, then Xavier goes to the top. If I have to hear "Hello, Hello" or "We are the people" on my little computer at 7 AM, then my rage for Hun scum goes over. I have found -one linking factor...
-Teams that's main color is blue. Rangers FC, Xavier, Duke...need I go on?
-Chicago White Sox fans. You won a world series two years ago. You are still smug about it. After your last place finish, you park should be half empty all the time again, but the smug mother fuckers here in Dayton will go on about how the Sox are god's gift.
-Dr. Dan Curran. Increase in tuition and a decrease in the school's ranking? That makes sense... Getting rid of the "ghetto", homecoming, etc. Hiring the worst governor in the state of Ohio's history for a bullshit job? Bullshit, fuckface...err Curran. Most of the students might not be able to see past your bullshit thinking that you're just one of the dudes, but I can. And don't think I won't stop yelling "asshole" at you when I see you.
-U.D. Pre Med major-You should be creating bionic ankles for Jesus and Manbearpig, not studying and jerking off to Grey's Anatomy and Scrubs. Hey assholes, its not like that.
-Frats at U.D.-I hate to generalize about the entire community because I've met some nice people, but fuck it, you all suck.
There you go. Things I hate more than Xavier.
Terrorists
Poverty
Communism
You know why you hate Xavier so much? Because Xavier kicks Flyer ass. The worst part is that your not even Xaviers biggest rivalry. They care more about playing UC. I dont have a list of shit I hate less than UD because UD is not that important to me. Two nights a year I hope X kicks that ass. Other than that UD is an afterthought.
FUCK UD, YOU LOST AGAIN, HAHAHA, I WISH JIMMY BINNIE DEAD, AND HE IS A BAD BASKETBALL PLAYER.. HAHAHA FUCK YOU
Post a Comment